When my daughters were young, I taught them these "5 Rules of Life" ... They are meant to be both humorous and memorable ... Now, more than 20 years later, they both remember these and agree they have been good things to remember ...

I hope you find these enjoyable and worthwhile ... the first 2 my father shared with me ... number 3 and 4 I made up ... number 5 I got from Dan Rather on the news one night and interpreted it as noted ...

Rule # 1 - Life isn't fair!

Some people get all the breaks, have all the luck and others seem to struggle with everything ... That is the truth ... Life is not fair ... Get over it!

Rule # 2 - It's Who You Know!

In life you can succeed or fail just as much, and often more, by who you know rather than what you know or how ... I know, that is not fair ... See Rule # 1!

Rule # 3 - It's Always About The Money!

Whatever, Wherever, Whenever ANYTHING happens, it is about the money! ... If something happens and it causes you to pause and wonder; realize that if you follow the money you will find out who pulled the strings, who made it happen ... Who has the power because of the money!

Rule # 4 - Humpty Did NOT Break!

I realize it is only a Nursery School rhymn and not reality ... BUT ... We are all familiar with the rhymn, and we know Humpty Dumpty fell off the wall and broke ... The point is that we have all been told things are true when in fact they are not ... There have always been conspiracies ... I do not suggest you always 'look over your shoulder' or be paranoid, but question what is true and real and what is not ...

Rule # 5 - Humpty Was Pushed!

As mentioned, I got this from Dan Rather on the news ... What it meant to me, was relative to Rule # 4 ... First, we all know that Humpty broke, and then we all know Humpty fell ... So these two seeming lies let us know that not only are there conspiracies, BUT there are conspiracies within conspiracies ... I originally referenced Iran–Contra affair for this point ...

For those that do not know the affair ... the US provided weapons to Israel to be sent to Iran to pay for the release of US hostages and fund the Nicaraguan Contras ... or so they say!

Oh yeah, most of this was done while being banned by the US Congress!

 For more info, follow:

•  this link ...
• or this one ...
• or this one ...
• and finally, this one ...

Rule # 7 - I just Cannot Remember - That's my story and I'm stickin' to it!

- Added 06/04/2014

Rule # 8 - That Ship Has Sailed

In consideration of Rule # 6, "That Ship Has Sailed" means:

• it's over, done, you don't have to deal with it anymore ... or
• You missed that "once-in-a-lifetime" opportunity!

- Added 06/18/2014

Rule # 9 - We Are All Closer To Dying Now Than We Have Ever Been Before!

No one gets out of this adventure alive!
Hopefully that makes sense without explanation - If an explanation is needed,

"The Dumbing Down of America" must be complete!

-Added 7/24/2017

Rule # 10 - Never, repeat NEVER force your help on someone!

You can offer your help, but if it is declined,

NEVER force your help on someone, no matter how much they need it. 

They will despise you FOREVER!!

-Added 12/23/2019

Hope is the difference between:

"TRYING"   and   "DOING"!

-Added 06/26/2014

1. Never shake a man’s hand sitting down.

2. There are plenty of ways to enter a pool. The stairs ain’t one.

3. The man at the grill is the closest thing we have to a king.

4. In a negotiation, never make the first offer.

5. Act like you’ve been there before. Especially in the end zone.

6. Request the late check-out.

7. When entrusted with a secret, keep it.

8. Hold your heroes to a higher standard.

9. Return a borrowed car with a full tank of gas.

10. Don’t fill up on bread.

11. When shaking hands, grip firmly and look them in the eye.

12. Don’t let a wishbone grow where a backbone should be.

13. If you need music on the beach, you’re missing the point.

14. Carry two handkerchiefs. The one in your back pocket is for you. The one in your breast pocket is for them.

15. You marry the girl, (or the boy) you marry the whole family.

16. Be like a duck. Remain calm on the surface and paddle like crazy underneath.

17. Experience the serenity of traveling alone.

18. Never be afraid to ask out the best looking girl in the room.

19. Never turn down a breath mint.

20. In a game of HORSE, sometimes a simple free throw will get ’em.

21. A sport coat is worth 1000 words.

22. Try writing your own eulogy. Never stop revising.

23. Thank a veteran. And then make it up to him.

24. If you want to know what makes you unique, sit for a caricature.

25. Eat lunch with the new kid.

26. After writing an angry email, read it carefully. Then delete it.

27. Ask your mom to play. She won’t let you win.

28. See it on the big screen.

29. Give credit. Take the blame.

30. Write down your dreams.